Kids Health Notes

Building a positive self-image in our children

by Grace on May 13th, 2008

Today’s generation of children have it tougher when it comes to their self-image. With media showing vanity, eternal youthfulness and sex as the measurement of beauty, the picture that our young girls and boys get is that - either they measure up, or they are losers. As parents and guardians of our children, we don’t have it any easier either. How do we help today’s children have a more positive self-image.

I asked some of the experts - parents. Here I compile the ideas, thoughts and values of the readers of Kids Health Notes when I asked them to share how you encourage your child(ren) to have a more positive self-image.

And as I read their answers, I saw several things that I need to reinforce in my own children - like respect, and being an example. Where else can they learn to have more confidence, to have self-respect, to be more kind to others, but first from their parents?

Read what our fellow parents and caregivers have to say, and add more of your own thoughts, or take some home to start with your own children.

HOW DO YOU ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD(REN) TO HAVE A MORE POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE?

OUR WORDS MATTER

• telling them I love them and hug hem everyday
• giving positive feedback to boost their self-esteem
• praise them when they do good
• saying ‘thank you,’ good job, way to go - anything that will make them feel good about themselves
• reinforcing her beauty no matter what she wears or how she looks on the outside
• tell my son a bed time story with Him as the main character and me as the luckiest mom in the world for having the best boy in the whole world.
• I tell my kids I am proud of them. Show them I love them by being there for them
• told my kids that they are perfect just the way they are because that’s the way God made them.
• Each night tell the kids how grateful I am that they are my children and that I am the luckiest mommy in the world.
• Praise instances of compassion for others
• encourage them to develop their natural talents

WHAT WE TEACH THEM MATTER

• teach them not to judge others
• doing their best
• just being yourself is what matters
• taught her that everyone has strengths and weaknesses that is what makes us unique; They have gifts that only they are blessed with and it’s their job to discover what those gifts are and to polish them and use them to His glory.
• told my kids that they are perfect just the way they are because that’s the way God made them.
• “I hate you” is not an acceptable phrase
• follow their dreams, even though we know some will prove to be unrealisitic, we never tell them it is impossible.
• treat others the way that they would like to be treated.
• encourage their children to befriend the kids that are getting picked on by the other kids.
• teach them to respect others
• read books to my little girl that have strong females as the lead character. They don’t need a man to rescue them because they have the ability to succeed within them
• discourage bullying and I make them think about how mean words would make them feel
• telling her not to be afraid to try new things

OUR ACTIONS MATTER

• listen listen listen - to problems and questions
• not putting them down
• toys to keep them away from tv
• giving them choices and letting them decide - they feel proud of themselves
• try to let my children do things for themselves instead of doing it for them. I think this gives them a sense of pride and ability.
• don’t buy magazines that give an unrealistic body image
• try to show by example
• for children of other races - seek out Asian role models for her, and find children’s shows, books, etc. with positive characters who look like her. We avoid bland blond princesses at all costs
• Not to worry about what others say about them
• not complaining about our own bodies in front of them
• showing them that girls and women can do anything.
• It that way we must also treat others the same and that life is precious
• take them on vacation in a 3rd world country; going on a missions trip; volunteer at nursing home or soup kitchen
• “If you point out their flaws to often such as weight, grades or whatever, they will come to the conclusion they deserve to have a low self esteem because they don’t have positive reinforcement enough.”
• got to give them some space to experiment safely
• “When they are speaking to you pay attention to every word. Drop what you are doing, sit down with them and look them in the eye when listening. Kids like to feel you are paying attention to them and will make them feel more important.”
• Keep calm with your children when talking to them no matter what the situation.
• help children work through their fears, such as fear of insects, or being afraid of the dark helps their self image
• share special days out one on one with each of my kids.
• not allowed to say, “I can’t do that.” Instead, she must say, “I need help.”
• The family adds so much into this equation

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